There’s something about a woman that knows herself inside and out. That woman that knows her power and knows the good and bad she can do with that power but chooses good. The woman that takes control of her emotional drive and is always the driver never letting her actions be dictated by those emotions. She nurtures people in the simplest way - through a touch, an embrace, a smile or a word. That woman that understands she has to work on and stretch ‘self’ in order to be a light to herself and others.
Her energy is infectious. It will tell you exactly how to treat her and what to give her; it will light up your world and change you forever!
This whole and holy woman is in you and in me. She is waiting to birth our biggest dreams out of our deepest hurts and failures.
She wants us to let go of our insecurities...no more doubt. No more anxiety. No more of their word over ours because what we believe is our TRUTH and carries way more value.
I’ve been on a long journey to totally remake, renew and remodel me to successfully become this woman.
Here’s how I did it.....
My first step was to get to fully know and learn me. My moods, my triggers, my stressors….what stimulated me and what my responses were to those stimuli. We spend so much time learning others but don’t truly know ourselves. Do you know what you do when you’re happy…what actions you display and the language you use? What about when you are confused or fearful?
I’ve learned over time to pay more attention to myself. If I don’t know me how can I expect anyone else to? In doing this I’ve discovered small but big things that tell me exactly how I’m feeling and why I’m feeling that way.
Small things like, when I’m in a great mood I make a weird popping sound with my lips or I whistle. When I’m confused or perplexed, I fold my lips between my fingers and use my thumbs to rub them - too much info I know but at least you know that I pay close attention to myself.
I’ve discovered bigger things like when I’m overwhelmed or frustrated by someone or something I retreat in order to process. During that retreat I try my best not to focus on or overthink the situation. I take a small break from it then process it. Once I've processed it, I can then in turn deal with it the best way possible to still represent 'That Woman'.
See most people would never know or believe that I struggled with anger in the past. It was one of my strongest emotions because of past trauma. I choose to retreat in order to process before ‘dealing’ because of this past issue.
Again, learning our moods and what we do when we are in them can alert us to our triggers and even help us communicate exactly how we are feeling to our partners and other loved ones in a more effective way.
‘Take Stock of Strengths and Weaknesses’
In learning myself I celebrated my strengths but knew that I had to focus on my weaknesses. My first step was to admit what they were. We should all be comfortable enough with ourselves to be honest enough to admit where work needs to be done. Self-awareness is extremely important and necessary for growth and true success.
Once I identified these areas the work began. I researched and got as much information as I could on the area of concern (google is definitely my best friend). I studied people that were successful at overcoming the issues that I could admit I had. Those that I could talk to, I questioned them about how they were able to accomplish what I was trying to attain.
Next I emulated those around me that possessed the traits that I was trying to gain. I watched the movements in particular of a friend that seemed to have what was an area of concern for me figured out. I saw how calm and cool he was (Mr. Slick) with dealing with things. I even saw him get into an accident while passing by on the road; he had no clue that I saw this. His demeanor and calmness was consistent throughout. I truly admired the way he carried himself and in turn emulated this.
Further, I am a faith driven woman so along with reaching out to others I turned to my Heavenly Father for answers and direction. I prayed for restoration and once I was open to the process it began. My actions lined up with what I was praying for and things started to unfold. It was not an easy process, I slipped many times but continued to be consistent with my efforts behind the goal of restoration.
My next step was to stop over thinking and worrying about what others thought of me. We live in a place where there is a guarantee that people will talk about you (it’s a favorite past time). So I focused on this ‘forget em’ method because I know for sure that there are many that I will never please. Just an FYI - some people have already made up their minds about you and there’s nothing you can do to change their position. Remember “Some people don’t need a reason not to like you, if that’s what they want to do they’ll do it!”. This update was given to me in my early 20's and I was very grateful to receive it.
I can only promise to be true to me and respectful to everyone (the talkers and non-talkers) because that is what I have been called to do. Respect people no matter what and let their own conviction lead them. I’m only responsible for me.
'Keep it moving'
“Don’t focus on the people or things that represent the 10% focus on the 90% and keep it moving". This great advice was offered to me by someone that affected me in a very positive way.
We really don’t have time to allow ourselves to over think or over play what he, she or it thinks or said. It’s wasted time and energy. The longer we think about it the more we give passage to anxiety, doubt and fear which leads to anger and anguish.
Take this great advice that I got and keep it moving! Focus on the 90% (supporters) and not the 10% (non-supporters) because there is always more good than bad.
'Trust Your Process and Your Natural Connections'
Over the years I’ve found myself trying to connect with certain people because I’ve always chosen who I spend my time with. In some cases the interest was not reciprocated. I did not understand this but allowed things to play out naturally. In all cases I found out later that those individuals were either negative, gossipy and/or treated people poorly and then it all made sense. These people were never supposed to be a part of my process. We have different beliefs and practices on many different things. My process saved me from wasted time, bad connections and in some cases bad people. I will trust it every time!
So....because there's so much more to share about this process I've just decided to deem this part 1 of "Remade & Remodeled". Part 2 will be shared soon.
Until then, I encourage you to learn even more about YOU because YOU deserve your own time and attention, give that to yourself! Together, let's focus only on the 90% and forget the 10% because it/they are just not worth it and we just gotta keep it movin'!!