In this millennial era how can self-love truly be defined? Well, it took me almost 40 years to find the answer to this question. Allow me to start at the beginning…
I grew up without having a mother or father present 24/7 in my early years. I didn’t get to know them until the age of three. Before this time I thought that my grandmother, who raised me, was my mother. It was not until the age of three that a cousin revealed the truth to me and told me that my mother abandoned me.
This brought about strong issues and misplaced identity. Who was I? Where did I come from? Where was she (my mother) and why would I only see him (my father) sometimes? Why did she abandon me? I did not understand. These questions haunted me and continually affected me.
Later at the age of nine, I joined my father and became a member of our blended family. I was the step child and this is exactly how I felt. Feelings of being unwanted followed me in this home.
Visits to my biological mother made me feel a little better but they were temporary and filled with many gifts but never enough time. I fully enjoyed the connection I shared with my siblings but all I wanted was to have quality time with my mother.
Returning home to my blended mess (that was my perception at least) was hard and left me empty. Thankfully things changed over time and special bonds came out of our blended family connection. In time my family truly turned out to be a blessing!
I carried my feelings of brokenness and rejection into Adulthood. This in turn turned into trying to please everyone in order to be connected with them. My key words were, “May I help you?” I never understood the power of saying no. I was a 'yes girl' and my main focus was to support everyone else’s dreams while diminishing my own. This is exactly what misplaced identity and brokenness looks like.
Then I became a mother and realized that I could not live this broken dream anymore. It was now time to wake up because my daughter and two sons deserved a fulfilled and happy mother.
My Acronym for the word SELF is Save Each Lie Failed! To me this means, ‘S’ave yourself from each ‘L’ie the enemy throws at you. Once you do this he has ‘F’ailed!
I’ve learned that the rule of self-love is ‘you’ putting YOU first. Simply put, SAVE YOURSELF!
This is not a campaign against helping others but we need to be healthy and whole in order to effectively be there for someone else. Saving yourself can mean letting go of negative thoughts, letting go of the past and letting go of negative people. Take the time to talk to the man (woman) in the mirror because he (she) is totally worth it.
Self-love once demonstrated properly has no limitations. It is a super power! Once this super power is gained, You feel empowered, self-motivated and well equipped to accomplish any and everything.
Being okay with you while not focusing on others (opinions or approval) but trusting your own opinion and not over thinking is powerful and extremely rewarding. Trusting and believing in yourself is the ultimate goal.
This journey begins with you knowing that past hurts can no longer hurt you in the future because you are strong and able to handle them.
Reclaim your power and let your past fuel you and create your best future.
Love everything about you....your flaws and imperfections, that is real self love.
My journey to accomplish all of this continues!